Chicas, Chicas, and More Chicas

They come in all shapes and sizes, speak many different languages and never fail to entertain and intrigue me. And although I have more important things to think about in life, girls are impossible to avoid. In Guatemala, I have been able to classify the girls into four groups. There are the local girls, the local girls who are especially attracted to gringos, the crunchy gringa girls (for a definition of crunchy look here http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crunchy), the party girls, and then the really interesting girls.

Thursday night, I hung out with some party girls from Kentucky. The girls had ridiculously strong Southern accents which made it especially funny when they tried to speak in Spanish and that did not happen too often. Okay, it hardly happened ever. One of the girls had visited Guatemala four times prior and neither of the others was making her first trip here, but yet they entirely lacked any capacity for the language. It made me feel sad for them, but at the same time, they said they loved Antigua and Guatemala and were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Who is to judge? Anyways, the girls were highly entertaining and I may find myself hanging around them again and trying to figure out how to get Kentucky Derby tickets.

Friday was the day when the two sisters were supposed to arrive at my house. You know, the two really hot sisters from Sweden who spoke English perfectly, who were intelligent and kind, athletic and down to earth, and who really liked Jewish boys from Florida and Australians. At least this was the picture that Matte (pronounced Mattey) and I had painted in our heads and discussed with Maritsa. Well, the sisters did arrive on Friday, but our painting could not have been more off target. It turned out that the sisters were from the States, born before the year 1955, not so attractive, and a bit strange. My perfect scenario was ruined! As soon as I arrived home from class to hear of the terrible news, Maritsa greeted me with a laugh that I will always remember. She also knew that my painting was in pieces and I just joined her in laughter. You cannot win them all! Nonetheless, the sisters are really nice and friendly so that must count for something.

Friday night, Matte and I were invited to be wingmen for another friend of ours as he went out with this one Guatemalan chick that he had met previously and her two friends. He assured us that his chick was probably the ugliest of the bunch and she wasn’t too bad. Honestly, I didn’t care too much but still I was looking forward to the prospect of going out with some genuine Guatemalan chicas for a night of fun and hoping that they were semi-attractive. Well it turns out, that my friend was not lying when he said that his chick was the least attractive of the bunch. Unfortunately, the other two girls were only barely more attractive. Anyways, the night was a lot of fun, almost entirely in Spanish, and the girls were really friendly. As the night went on, Matte and I kept trying to leave but our friend kept begging us to stay and keep him company while he tried to win over his trophy girl. The night became strange when we entered an after-party (very common in Antigua as all the bars close at 1am) and the two girls who we were entertaining became more aggressive. They kept on inviting us to go out with them again in Guatemala City and really wanted to stay close to our sides. Matte and I just glanced at each other from time to time and spoke in really fast English, knowing that they could not understand, just waiting for the right opportunity to leave. We did make it out of the evening without having to make out with an ugly Guatemalan chick and I am happy to report that the girls have called us twice since that night. I have yet to return their call.