Getting Back to Basics and Having Fun

I am not happy right now. I do not smile or laugh enough; I do not have enough fun; and I just do not feel like I have a purpose right now. On top of that, I have just been diagnosed with three distinct problems in my stomach, a parasite, fungus, and infection. The sweet, tasty frosting of Guatemala has been eaten only to reveal a dried out, not so tasty yellow cake. Still, cake is better than no cake, but I guess what I am trying to say is that I need a change. For a week, I have needed to get out of Antigua and now that my stomach issues have been properly diagnosed and I am taking the necessary mediations (at least I hope), I have decided to do some traveling. First, I will be heading up north to Tikal, the famous Mayan ruins, and then to what many say is the most beautiful spot in Guatemala, Semuc Champey. After that, who knows. The world is my playground, as they say, and it is time for me to start having some fun!

Still, a lot of thoughts have been swirling through my head lately so below are some of them. I started this train of thought a while back and have continued it today so I apologize beforehand for its somewhat scattered nature.  

 

Many times throughout the day I feel at a loss, or sick, or cautious, interested, proud, happy, or thoroughly entertained. These emotions take place at random times throughout the day, sometimes with one emotion dominating the others. However emotions are what they are, they are fleeting, they come and go, they are not moods. Moods are more serious, more stable, more encompassing. It is like the difference between a mood and a tense while studying a language. And the one mood that has taken over my life as of late, is the pensive mood. I think a lot. Actually, I am thinking all the time. Many of you may be thinking, “so what?”, we all think all the time but this is not true. I know this is not true because at one point in my life, I didn’t think all the time. I was fairly thoughtless throughout the day and in a sort of ignorant bliss. But now it seems, at this point in my life, that I can never just let go, relinquish some control over my life, and just enjoy the moment. Now don’t get me wrong, there have been numerous enjoyable times in Guatemala but not in the sense that I forget where I am and forget what is going on around me. I have been at a soccer game marveling at the passion the fans have for their crappy brand of soccer but then in my head comparing it to the true, life-controlling passion that Europeans have. I have seen firework displays that remain unrivaled in my life, only to be thinking about how the laws of America would never allow this. And I have been engulfed in the beauty of the Rio Dulce, while wondering how much it would cost to buy a house and if I could actually maintain it throughout the rest of my life.

I think and analyze, ponder and compare, my mind never seems to be at ease. Many close friends and family members would probably be surprised to be hear this. On the outside,  I always seem so relaxed, so carefree, hardly the picture of a stressed individual. They are both right and wrong. While I am a relatively relaxed individual compared to many, I am rarely able to truly revel in the moment. Basically, what I am trying to say is that my mind is in constant motion, especially lately.  

I think that part of the reason I felt so drawn to coming to Guatemala, to the unknown for my own little adventure, was to undergo a quest for personal growth. A quest to put my mind at ease. A quest to discover how to be happy and what I want from life. And nothing puts you out of your comfort zone more and into a thinking frame of mind than moving to a strange country, learning a new language, and not really knowing what you are doing. After more than three months here, I still think to myself quite often, “What exactly I am doing here?”

So sitting in one of the many wifi equipped cafes in Antigua, I will attempt to answer this question once and for all.

Answer #1: Learn how to speak Spanish.

For me this has always been answer number one but lately I am realizing that it has been more closely followed by answers two and three than I first thought. It has always been a personal goal in my life to be fluent in more than one language. Actually, my goal is to achieve fluency in four languages. But I gotta walk before I can run. Why this has always been a goal of mine, I am not completely certain. I do know that I enjoy learning about other cultures. I enjoy having serious conversations with people of different backgrounds than myself. I found it fascinating to compare different ways of life. And language is always at the center of all of this. Without understanding intricacies of the language, it is impossible to understand the culture. For example, I was telling my Spanish teacher about Super Tuesday a while back and he laughed remarking that everything in the United States is super something. Super Bowl. Super Wal-Mart. Superman. We were then discussing how many more words in the United States that have the meaning of large in comparison to words in Spanish. Even the Guatemalans use words such as super, mega, and hyper. As a culture, we put a premium on size and being the biggest and best, and it surely shows up in our language. For fun, just look up some synonyms for a word like huge or super. Anyways, it is my belief that language is the key to the culture and as my knowledge for the Spanish language becomes greater, I will be able to better understand different cultures.

A more surface reason why I want to become fluent in other languages, it just because I think it will be really cool. When you look at me, there is little doubt that I am American and I look pretty Jewish as well. The basic assumption is that I speak English. Not that I have a problem with English, but I want to prove people wrong. I want to just roll off fluent Spanish, Italian, or some other language like it is nothing. I want to overhear people on the subway. I want to surprise others as well as myself.  

Spanish Update: I know all the tenses and I am now more certain when to use all of them. I have been working a lot on the correct way to pronounce the letters g and j (kinda like the Hebrew sound ch) as well as my overall pronunciation. Still cannot roll those r’s. I am able to understand most newspaper articles even if I do not know all the words. I still have to think a lot about what I want to say before I say it but some phrases are rolling off the tongue easily without any thought at all. I still have trouble understanding conversations that are not directed toward me and I still have to really focus when conversing in Spanish.

Answer #2. Learn how to live by myself.

I am social by nature and always happiest around people but want to learn how to be fulfilled alone. I think it is important in life to know that you can maintain happiness even without close contact or constant interaction with others. I think that the most important relationship in life is with yourself and when you are truly happy and satisfied with yourself, you can change the world, truly enhance the lives of others, and be a better person….and this leads to the next answer.

Answer #3: Decide what makes me happy.

Traveling, seeing and experiencing new things, and having a lot of time to think are fantastic and something that not everyone has a chance to do, especially at my age. I am trying to learn about my likes, dislikes, hopes, fears, anxieties, and relaxers. I am discovering which environments make me sad and depressed and which make me happy. This is also not an easy thing to do! These acts of thinking seem rather selfish. I mean instead of thinking about others, I am spending most of my time thinking about myself. About my career, my goals, who I am…me, me, me. But as I have read in some books, it is going to be hard for me to truly enhance the world without first knowing where I fit.

HOWEVER, I also believe that a great way to get to know yourself is by spending time with other people, forming close relationships, and leaving your comfort zone. True character only comes out when things get tough, and things only get tough when you are really challenged. 

Not really sure where to end this train of thought right now but it almost seems fitting not to have an ending. Just like my writings and my Spanish, I am definitely still a work in progress…..

 

 

 

 

Photos Are Up!

Photos from my first two months in Guatemala can be viewed by clicking the link below!! Yay!

Guatemala’s Finest Part 1

Guatemalan Headlines

As any news follower would know, yesterday produced an amazing story that many have expected for years and was a near certainty in the past weeks. Kosovo, formerly a region of Serbia, declared unilaterally its independence from Serbia and formed a new nation. In its declaration, the country, behind prime minister Hashim Thaci, said that it desires to be a part of the family of democratic states around the world. The United States, EU, and other countries around the world are expected to fully recognize the Kosovo as an independent sovereign nation. Since 1999 Kosovo has been under control of the UN so this isn’t as if the country suddenly decided to secede. Still, it was pretty amazing to watch the news yesterday and see the people celebrating in the streets peacefully. In Kosovo, there are only 2 million people, of which ninety percent are Albanian Muslims, and the region did not quite fit into the rest of Serbia if you can remember the US/NATO incursion over there during President Clinton’s years. I personally am happy for the country and this is the first time in my life that I can remember the formation of a new country. Unfortunately I do not remember the fall of Berlin Wall (not that I was too young, I guess I just did not watch it), and am not really sure which countries have been declared since that time. So for me, this is first. Congrats Kosovo! Still this brings up some interesting questions: Is it okay for a region to declare independence if its habitants are completely and utterly different than the rest of the country in ethnicity, religion, and culture? Or is this setting a terrible example that it is impossibly for different cultures to get along under the same government? Maybe we should just go back and reclassify the nations of the world based on commonalities. After all it is important for people to feel as if they have a home they can their own. So why don’t we give the Kurds a country, the Palestinians, redivide Africa into its tribes, and give the indigenous of Guatemala its own government? I am not really sure how I feel on these issues but I do know they require more thought on my part, and I do feel strongly that as a society we need to learn how to get along, have mutual respect for our fellow human beings, and learn from each other, and live peacefully together. Yet if peace comes out of the creation of a new country, it is worth it.

On this note, I also want to give you some brief headlines of what is going on in the world of Guatemala.   

At least 1.2 million Guatemalans do not have an identity: More than ten percent of the country is not registered here. Guatemala has one of the highest percentages of unregistered births. There is a movement being started to register people. The primary reasons reported for the high percentage are: general discrimination, geographic barriers, internal migration, a lack of tradition to register, poverty, and internal armed conflict.

Congress Decides to Give More Funds to the Construction of the Airport: Believe it or not, if you were to fly into Guatemala, you would see a beautiful airport under construction. Apparently, the costs have exceeded expectations (surprise, surprise) and many were advocating to stop construction on the airport. Yet the government decided to extend more funds and finish the construction. There were numerous editorials written on this subject and I agree with the ones that have declared that the airport is the single most important tool of tourism and it needs to be the best it can be.

Bus Killings: During the past two weeks, more than 25 bus drivers and helpers have been killed on their routes. The reason for the killings has been that the bus companies and drivers were unwilling to pay the exorbitant sums that gangs were charging to pass through their areas. The government has said that the crimes were organized and that they expect more of the same. Many bus drivers protested by not driving their routes for days, and mass protests were held in the streets of Guatemala City. Some drivers have declared they will not return to work. As you can imagine, the transportation system was in shambles for a few days but most routes have returned to normal, violence and all.

Roses for Valentine’s Day: Guatemala sells over 85 percent of its roses to the United States. In total it sells a ridiculously high number to the States….so for Valentine’s Day you may have received roses from Guatemala.

Death Penalty Reaffirmed: The death penalty has been under suspension for the last seven years here and during this past week Congress allowed for the use of the presidential pardon which effectively makes it permissible to start killing people again under the President’s orders. If you want to know my opinion, the death penalty is wrong in every which way. It does not serve justice, it is not economically viable, it is political by nature, and it does not serve as a deterrent (all of this is according to various studies except the moral part).

Violence, violence, violence: There are reports every day of murders, lynching (yes they still do that here and with pictures in the newspaper), gang and drug related deaths, etc.

Suprising Amount of Presidential Coverage: Everyday there is a story about the presidential campaigns in the States. I feel like there is more Barack coverage than anything. Probably has the same slant as newspapers in the States but I guess that’s what momentum does for a candidate.

Some nice stories: Not too many, but I will be sure to report on them as I find ones that catch my eye. For example, for Valentine’s Day, there was a story about a couple who had been married for 66 years. They have, get this, 12 children, 62 grandchildren, 103 great-grandchildren, and 5 great-great grandchildren. How ridiculous is that! And this only goes to show that people get married young and have lots of kids in Guatemala especially in the rural parts.

Signing off, Avi

Ask Avi- Volume 1 Edition 1

Bienvenidos a Ask Avi! I would just like to welcome you all to the inaugural mailbag. I have spent many hours writing this that I could have spent helping poor Guatemalan children, so just think about that when you feel like stopping halfway through the reading. I want to inform that there are a lot of sports questions but I have tried to bundle them toward the end for all of you non-sports fans. Also a special award goes to Sam and Kevin for asking the most questions for this mailbag (Expect it in the mail in 4-6 weeks). And please continue to send me more questions (maybe some Guatemala questions as well) as I would like to do this once every 2-3 weeks. Without further redo….

Mark B. from Washington DC formerly Coral Springs, FL: First off, you need to call it “ASK AVI”…Ask Avi Anything is unnecessarily wordy, whereas ASK AVI is both succinct and properly sums up what you’re doing. And besides that, it’ll be the perfect name for your eventual reader advice column in HOW TO MANAGE YOUR JEWFRO QUARTERLY.

Avi: Your suggestion was taken into consideration by management and the vote was almost unanimous to amend the name. The lone dissenting vote came from Russell Semmel himself with a note attached saying that he just likes to argue and he signed it with his phigam (an AEPi joke). As for the Jewfro, Mark, the best way to manage it is to only wash once every three days, use gel, and use water when you are too cheap to buy gel. Braiding your Jewfro into cornrows is another surefire way to manage it. And for those who do not know what a Jewfro is click here. Click anywhere there.

Jim R. from Jacksonville, FL: How does it feel to know almost everything?

Avi: Great question Jim and it feels great. It would feel better if I knew everything like I did when I was 15 years old but the mind is already going at age 23. Keeping that in mind, I like to think of it as a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing in that I am able to help all those people out there lacking in knowledge and information. I have also become the ultimate phone-a-friend (move over Mathew Safer). I also don’t have to study too much although I am constantly updating my knowledge bank. And it is a curse in that I cannot seem to keep my mouth shut or listen attentively, and I am always interrupting other conversations, even those of perfect strangers! Do you even realize how many mistakes and false statements the normal conversation has in it?!? Poor grammar, factual errors, lies, and sentences ending with a preposition! By the way, I heard a really funny joke the other day about prepositions….

A freshman student on his first day at Harvard was walking through the yard looking for the library. He spotted a senior student, approached him, and politely asked, “Where is the library at?” The senior responded, “Here at Harvard we do not know end our sentences with prepositions.” The Freshman thought this over for a bit and then asked his question again, “Where is the library at….asshole?”

So yes, I can be the asshole at times and tend to debate a lot but please forgive me. As you are not like me and do not know almost everything, it will be hard for you to understand this but try and be thankful that I am in your life.

Jim R. from Jacksonville, FL: Is there a Jewish life in Antigua?

Avi: Well, Jim, aren’t we full of questions of today. There is not a synagogue in Antigua but surely there are some Jewish people here and among the tourists are a bunch of Israelis (although there are a different species of Jew). Only 45 minutes away lies Guatemala City which has a organized Jewish population and you can read about my experiences there in my last blog entry.

Danielle R. from Washington DC, formerly of Austin, TX: I love you.

Avi: I love you too Danielle. Actually I love all of you but Danielle, don’t worry, I love you more.

George and Shana from Plantation, FL: Why were you beloved tio and tia not on your e-mail list? Are we not worthy? Not loved?

Avi: Tranquilo tio y tia! First read above. I love everyone. Tio did receive the email and he specifically asked me to make sure that Tia was not on the list. Discuss among yourselves. I am not a marriage counselor, well at least by profession. If you need some help, my going rate is $150/hour but I promise you it is worth it.

The following questions were submitted by Brent G. from Minneapolis, MN:

1) I was putting on a condom the other night, and it was too large so I cut the top half off. I was later told that was not a good idea because it took away the idea of using a condom. I don’t really understand…isn’t 1/2 of a condom better than 0/2 of a condom?
2) I caught my dog last night eating her own poop in the back yard. What should I do about this? Should I be glad that now she will go through less dog food, which means less of my disposable income has to go to the dog, or upset that she is so dumb that she eats her own poo?
3) Last week at a bar a 25 year old guy kept on buying me drinks. He was wearing a velvet purple shirt. He asked me if I’m open minded….what did he mean by this?

Avi: As I was reading these questions in the internet café, I was laughing very loudly. A lot of people looked over in my direction to see if there was anything wrong with me. What is this world coming to me when a man cannot laugh out loud in a public place without getting strange looks?!? Anyways, Brent, I will attempt to answer these one by one and with a lot of care as I am not sure you are the sharpest knife in the drawer, if you know what I mean.

1. Yes, ½ of a condom is better than no condom although you chose the wrong half. Next time go with the top half.

2. Dogs eat poop, vomit, and other gross things voluntarily. Humans do not eat poop voluntarily. This separates humans from most other species although I you may closer to the dog species than the rest of us. I would be more upset that you even asked this question than the fact that your dog eats poo.

3. I think that he wanted to know if you liked his purple shirt. You know that purple is the new black this season…at least that is what I have heard. If I were you, I would call this guy again, go out for some more drinks, and head back to his place to see his collection of purple shirts.

Wayne F. from the suburbs of Maryland: Have you used the pb yet?

Avi: It took me until the moment that I was writing this mailbag to understand what pb even meant. I did a search online for abbreviations of pb, did some serious meditative thinking, and still nothing. I was going to answer the question in this way: Ok Wayne, I have no idea what you are referring to you when you say pb. I have even sent you a response email to clarify the meaning but never received anything from you. Who are you, Wayne? Some busy executive in the city? (This is a joke because Wayne is, in fact, a busy executive, Hillel’s president and my old boss) But in a moment of clarity, I figured out that Wayne meant Pepto Bismol, his going away gift to me as I headed to Latin America. So, yes, Wayne, I have used the Pepto Bismol and you would know that if you had been keeping up to date with your reading.

Sam H. from Jacksonville, FL: Does the toilet really flush backward there? If so, is it distracting…how long does it take to get used to that?

Avi: For a smart guy, Sam, you got this all wrong. The toilet only flushes in reverse south of the equator. Guatemala is not south of the equator. I am actually closer to many of you in the United States than you are to Canada. It is a two hour flight from Miami to here. So stop thinking I am living across the world! You do bring up an interesting point, though. Why do human beings watch the toilet flush? Why are we so entranced with our own poo and pee flushing down the toilet? Honestly, who really cares if it doesn’t work and the next person is faced with flushing the bowl. If you add up all the seconds wasted watching the toilet flush, you could have written a novel, you could have been someone, you could have been a contendor.

Sam H. from Jacksonville: As a Jaguar fan, what were your feelings about Tom C. winning the Super Bowl?

Avi: Duuuuuuvaaal. Honestly, I am happy for Tom. I never thought he was a bad coach but it was obvious that the Jaguars needed a change when they hired Del Rio. Could Coughlin have won a Super Bowl in Jacksonville with these players? Now that is an interesting question. Would he have even drafted Leftwich knowing he was a huge Garrard fan and did we waste these past years by firing Coughlin?

Louis R. from Jacksonville, FL: What are your thoughts on where the new season of Lost are headed?

Avi: It is my understanding that the writers were on strike for three months so how do we even know the new season will finish. Maybe they will decide not to write again for Lost. Still I am predicting that the new season will end up at the season finale. And little brother, when you asked your question, you should have used “is headed” not “are headed.” The word is agrees with the subject season which is singular. So young. So much to learn.

Kevin P. from Hollywood, FL: What is your take on the running back situation for the Gators? Coach Drayton has now left to your beloved Vols and bad mouthed Urban on his way out the door. Do you believe if Urban had a quality running back he would have used Tebow as much? I think he was forced to because of the lack of a stud, and this shouldn’t have the reflection on his offense like Drayton says. Saying “a good running back shouldn’t go to UF cause they wont use him” is really stepping over the line in my opinion.

Avi: Recruiting in college football has really gotten out of hand and I hate that there are programs bad-mouthing other programs. We are still talking about 17-18 year old kids. They will believe anything and it is irresponsible for Coach Drayton to be talking in this way. Saying that, it is the reality of college football and it is every man and team for themselves. And yes I do think that Tebow would have been used less if the Gators had a quality running back but we will find out this upcoming season.

Kevin P. from Hollywood, FL: Fred Taylor makes his first appearance in the Pro Bowl after a much deserving season. Would it matter to you if you made it because a friend of yours got injured? I might not go out of spite. Im not sure but apparently Taylors wife had to convince him to still go.

Avi: I definitely think Fred deserved to make the Pro Bowl more often than he did but he was always playing with really quality running back in the AFC. I actually think it would help me make the decision to go if a friend of mine called me up and told me that he wanted me to take his spot and felt I deserved it. Out of respect for my friend and because I know in my heart how many times I was screwed over and how badly I want to be in Hawaii, I would definitely play. It would be an easy decision for me.

Kevin P. from Hollywood, FL: At what point does Eli Manning gain the respect of the nation. He has been such a bum for the last few years and now he has led his team to 10 straight road victories and a Super Bowl appearance. How long does he have to keep this up to be considered a solid QB in the league? Is Eli the new “Trent Dilfer”?!”

Avi: Fortunately I had the benefit of watching the Super Bowl before answering this question. So it is an easy answer….he has the respect of every now.

Sam H. from Jacksonville: Do you think Peyton was really happy for Eli. I don’t buy it. I think it’s a reminder that Eli is nowhere near the QB Peyton is, but he has just as many rings and he beat the Pats in his first postseason try

Avi: That is a tough question but I do think Peyton is happy for Eli. After all they are brothers, like you see in this commercial. <<–That is a link, by the way. I think Peyton is more upset with himself seeing that his career is on the decline and once again he proved that he is not a big game quarterback. He has had good days in the big games but overall he just doesn’t have that extra gear. It seems his normal self is so precise that he doesn’t know how to just make plays at crunch time. Peyton would have surely been tackled on the play when Eli broke loose of two tackles and threw the Hail Mary pass.

Sam H. from Jacksonville: When I’m grocery shopping, what type food/beverage is it acceptable for me to buy the generic Publix brand and what do I need to pony up for and get the real thing? Does this answer change when I graduate, get a job, and have income?

Avi: Publix cookies are a gift from God. If anyone can send me a box of Publix cookies and a Boar’s Head turkey sub on wheat, I will bring you back a woven Mayan thingie. When talking about generic versus brand-name it is important to divide into categories.

1. When you have very little money: Buy Generic. Overall it tastes about the same and save your money for better things like sporting events, poker, and beer. They don’t make a generic beer yet, right? Still, it is never acceptable to buy generic of the following; ketchup, mayonnaise, frosted flakes, barbeque sauce

2. When you have some money: Add pastas, tomato sauce, and cheese to list of generics you cannot buy

3. When you have plenty of money: Add generic sodas unless using for alcoholic drinks. Generic ice cream and frozen goods are acceptable, but you need to buy brand-name baking mixes like brownies, cakes, etc. You are not allowed to buy generic cereal under any scenario.

Sam H. from Jacksonville: When will AEPi’s new house (at University of Florida) be ready… give us an over/under

Avi: In my heart, I think November 2012. Or the betting line would be November 12, 2008.

Kevin P. from Hollywood, FL: The Miami “Cowboys” Dolphins are bringing in a whole new staff. Do you thin kit is smart to bring in soo many coaches who are friends already? Does the complacency factor work against the team instead of the coaches being urgent and working hard to keep their jobs? Vice Versa?

Avi: Nothing the Miami Dolphins do right now to change the team could be dumb. The team has been horrible for years and this year really sunk to a low point. If you ask me, they should be looking to follow the model of the team up north in Florida, the Jaguars. They have built a solid foundation and will be in the playoffs for years to come. And the Dolphins always rubbed me the wrong way, like a bunch of old man hanging in the sun too long and their skin becoming all wrinkly and worn. So really, bringing in a bunch of old amigos from the past to reignite this team is fitting. They should go ahead and hire Don Shula as coach if you ask me. Do I think it will work? Do I think Ricky Williams will stop smoking pot?

Louis R. from Jacksonville, FL: How dumb to the Suns have to be to trade away Shawn Marion with 5 good years still left on him for a old, slow, not-as-good-as-he-used-to-be Shaq?

Avi: This is a day for all Miami fans to rejoice. A team of yours finally did something right. They signed Shaq who was very motivated from his departure with Kobe and with something to prove and the Heat won a championship. Yes, the Heat were dumb to have signed Shaq to a long term deal but they still won a banner. Now they get rid of Shaq, who obviously had very little motivation left and was enjoying too much of his time policing the streets of South Beach, for an all star in Shawn Marion. From what I hear, Shawn Marion is a little bitch, but at least he can still play. And now the Heat could trade him for some draft picks, other good players, or keep him, and win the terrible Eastern Conference next year. Do you know that the Sixers at 23-31 currently hold the 8^th spot in the East? The Heat need to be smart, put Dwayne Wade on the shelf, and tank this season and hope for a top lottery pick. And has anyone else thought about how Shaq is going to be a police officer in Phoenix? Is there crime in Phoenix? And what is going to happen to the streets of Miami now that their top officer is gone? Will chaos break loose? Something to think about….

Mark B. from Washington DC: “Avi, you’ve now lived on another continent for months. You’ve grown, adapted, changed and learned. So make your choice — global “futbol” or American/Real Football. Which is the greater sport and why?” (Bonus points if you make a joke about how there are no professional female football teams in the USA, while women get to play soccer in the World Cup and Olympics. Whether or not that’s a point for American Football or Global Futbol, I leave to you. Although the easier joke is obviously how it’s a sign American Football rocks.)

Avi: This is so easy to answer…American Football. Is there a better sport out there? In this writer’s opinion, it hasn’t been invented yet. But there are pros and cons of the sports so let me enlighten you.

Futbol Pros: More games with your favorite team. Hot Brazilian soccer girls. You can play soccer at any skill level and all over the world. You can watch soccer from anywhere in the world

Futbol Cons: No goals. It is boring. It is only played well in Europe meaning that most people, like in Guatemala, root for teams in places that will never be able to visit.

Football Pros: There is college and professional (but for some reason they play at the same time of the year…stupid snow). Points are scored. The players actually have to be touched and tackled to fall down versus the futbolistas who fall down and fake injuries every three minutes. The game is amazing. The game is American.

Football: Only played five months of the year. Difficult to watch games when abroad. Bill Belechik. Very complicated system of rules.

Mark B. again: PS, I meant to say this, but….Avi at a turtle race? Some days I love life.

Avi: Yes, I eat slow or as I would prefer to say it…I savor the taste of food. I savor the life.

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I have located the Jews and it was good. I made my way through the heavily trafficked streets of Guatemala City to McDonalds, the predetermined meeting point on 7th Avenue in Zone 9. For the weekend that would be spent with la familia de Brenda de Castillo, I brought with me a small backpack and some flowers (as a thank you for letting me stay with you even though you have no idea who I am gift). I am not sure how many of you have ever sat in a McDonalds with a bouquet of roses but it was pretty damn uncomfortable. I just imagined what the hundreds of people at the packed Mickie D’s were thinking as I walked around, looking a tad confused, and sat down at an empty table with my bouquet. Is he meeting a date here? Who meets a date with flowers in McDonalds? Has this gringo lost his mind? I awkwardly sat there doing my best to hide the flowers under the table until my phone rang alerting me to come outside and meet my hosts. I handed the flowers to Brenda and met her 11 year old son, Joseph, and then quickly apologized for not having the proper attire for synagogue. Remember, all I had was some casual brown pants and collared shirt. Anyways, she says not to worry about it all and if anything, I am overdressed. Half of the people wear jeans to services here.Sure enough, she was right. Although there were people in dress clothes, many were in jeans and tshirts, and the only people wearing ties were the rabbi, the director, and the diplomats from Israel. The synagogue, one of two in Guate, was absolutely gorgeous. The ark was a free standing cylinder painted in elaborate colors and designs and there was a giant chandelier of sorts that used Jewish stars, the Magen David, as the focal point. The synagogue, as most are Latin America, is set up as an orthodox synagogue even though most of the Jews are not orthodox. Men and women sit separately and only kosher food is allowed on the premises. The services are in Hebrew with the conduction in Spanish. Almost everything was the same as my synagogue in the States including the children running around outside and people socializing in the back rows. This Friday night was particularly packed because two members had died during the past week and the community was out for support. Of the 1000 or so Jews that live in Guatemala, I would say there were 150 people there.

Sitting through services, being in the synagogue, and entering the Jewish community obviously stirred up many emotions inside of me that I would like to take some time to discuss. Being surrounded by Jews just feels natural for me and I feel very much at peace. Growing up in the Jewish community of Jacksonville, having many best friends who are Jewish, and being fortunate enough to have had a Jewish education that allows me to ease into most Jewish settings. I also feel a certain connection with Jews that I do not feel with other people that comes from knowing we have a shared background and identity. It is fascinating to think that Jews around the world are learning the same prayers, studying for the same Bar Mitzvahs, and looking for the same Jewish partners to marry. It is the same in many other ethnicities but in Judaism, I feel that the culture, customs, and traditions tend to be stronger. As I have learned many times Judaism is much more than just a religion; it is a history, a people, a culture, and a land. It feels great to be able to sit in a synagogue and recite the prayers along with everyone else knowing that we all may speak different languages. Even though, I still do not love the services, I did enjoy sitting in the synagogue and looking around at all the faces and feeling the connection in the room.

After services on Friday night, there was a buffet dinner that was fantastic. I had challah for the first time in four months (I love challah!) and vegetables, eggplant, soup, and fish. Then I had dessert and fruit. All of this wonderful, delicious food was really just a Trojan horse as it later came back to haunt me. Right before I fell to sleep I felt very full in my stomach and around 4am I was woken up by all the acid swirling around. To spare you all the details, I ended up spending a lot of the night with the toilet (this was Tecun’s first cousin, Pedro) and threw up twice. It was another one of the worst nights of my life and they are just adding up here in Guatemala. I figured by now that my stomach would have adjusted but I seem to continue getting infections.

Still, I am a tough guy, and Saturday morning, I went with the family to the Sepharadi synagogue, number two of two in Guate, at 11:30am because we stopped at a doctor’s office first. Turns out that the Sephardis do everything a little bit later and do not really even start their services until 10:30-11:00 so we got there for the entirety of the torah service. Sepharadi services are a bit different in that there is little to no audience participation and everyone just kind of prays on their own and at their own pace. The service does move quickly. And just as I did the night before, I scanned the crowd for any cute Jewish girls. Sitting in the back row of the women’s section was an incredibly cute girl. From far away she looked to be about 19-20 years old but still I was attracted. After the service, Brenda, introduced me to her niece, Jessica, who happened to be the same attractive girl and she was 23 years old. Que perfecto! Not having the best game (old folks, “game” means the act of flirting with girls) in English, you can imagine how my efforts went in Spanish. A lot of awkward silences as I tried to come up with how to ask the next question in perfect Spanish. Anyways, after the lunch at the synagogue, of which I barely ate due to my stomach, Jessica and her little sister were nice enough to take me on a quick tour of town. We stopped by this park that had a huge paper mache map of Guatemala but all I was interested in was “Donde esta el bano mas cercano? Spending more time in the bathroom than looking at the map was probably a great way to make a first impression! We moved on to the biggest mall I have seen except for the Mall of America and walked around a bit but I felt terrible. So I apologized to my hosts, told them that I felt really sick and needed to go back to the synagogue. Anyways, I did get Jessica’s number and she texted me on Sunday to ask me how I was feeling. That’s a good sign, right?